Sunday, January 29, 2012


I know that your "base" training is supposed to be slow... but come ON! Hard to be patient isn't it?

SO... I've entered my 3rd week of consistent training... and I have to say... MAN IT'S BORING! HA! Kidding... only kidding... but not really. I dunno... it's hard to start over isn't it? I mean, it really does feel as though I'm starting from square one. My longest "run" to date was yesterday.... a grand total of 40 minutes... 10 of which was spent walking for warmup and cool down. That's just where I am. Here's the thing... I know that if I don't do this right... my body will just collapse and I'll end up NOT being able to train. THAT would be a disaster. So the name of the game is slow, short, and patient.

Around February of last year, I started noticing that my hips would just NOT open up. I was stiff and in pain pretty much all the time. So... naturally I figured I'd rest and stretch and things would come around. Not so much. Then I started getting weekly, really deep massage... no dice. Finally... I went and saw a chiropractor and an orthopod... turns out I have some early signs of osteoarthritis in both my hips... primarily in my right. Both docs flat out said that I probably shouldn't be doing long distance stuff anymore... and to even consider finding another "hobby". I literally welled up with tears. How do you react to someone when they tell you that you can't do what you love? Well... I for one, gave them a big "F-YOU!"... in my head of course. So... for this... and various other reasons... I just didn't train. I mean... I stayed relatively fit... but I really laid off the running and just let my body rest.

So you can see why I'd be cautious as I enter into this year with high hopes. I think the rest has done my body good. In some ways... I feel more strong than I ever have. I have until the first of March to build my base... and then I'll start working with Coach Liz again! She's graciously allowed me to re-enter her fold... and I can't think of a better person to guide me through another great season. As of right now... I've got 5 races on the books... primarily Olympic distance stuff with one half-iron in July. Being who I am... I've put the half-iron world championships on the schedule... always the optimist!

Oh! Here's something that I've noticed since I started again... the entire family is more calm. Ya. Weird huh? I mean... I can understand why I might feel more calm... but it turns out... it has the same effect on my kiddos. Or maybe its not that... maybe its that I find them much less annoying because I'm meeting my own needs in addition to theirs. Does that make sense? I think parents fall into a trap. If you were to ask any parent what their first priority is... my guess is that up words of 90% of them would reply, "my kids"! While this may be true... I think it's a dangerous direction to head. I mean, that's what we're SUPPOSED to say as parents right? Anything else would be selfish and deluded. But here's the thing... if you're neglecting yourself... how can you possibly give your all to be the best parent you can possibly be? So I think it's a tie. If I were asked, "Who comes first in your life?" I would reply with a hearty, "US!" Meaning... my family... which, yes, includes me. I'm a better Dad when I'm training. I'm more patient and calm and full and able to give more easily without hesitation or resentment b/c my needs are being met too. So... YAY! Food for thought.

Thanks for taking the time to read. Hope you're all happy, healthy, and whole.


Sunday, January 15, 2012


I think I might be back.

It's been well over a year since I've competed in the sport. Without too much detail... it was just something that I thought I needed to do. I needed to refocus... clear my head... regroup. What I've found over the last year is that this is part of me... it's in me... I need it. Or maybe it isn't the sport itself... but rather what it breeds in me. I need to push. I need to challenge. I need a little physical adversity in my life to be whole. Over the last year I've been missing a part of myself. Honestly... it didn't really occur to me until this last week. I've just felt off... not myself. I realized what training and competition bring out in me. When training and racing... I feel clear. I feel possibility in myself and those around me. It fills a hole that hasn't ever really been filled by anything else. I'd like to tell you that simply being a good Dad... being a good friend... being a good employee "fullfills" me. Maybe I'd like to tell you that b/c that is what we learn we're supposed to be satisfied with as we grow up. That that is enough... and for many... maybe it is... and how GREAT! But I've never been one to be completely satisfied. To stand there... look around... and say, "HEY! This is awesome! I did it! I am now ok!" That's just not who I am... which in my opinion is equal parts annoying... and equal parts fantastic. I just want more. And I'm not talking about stuff. Stuff is easy. I'm talking about challenging oneself... in whatever way satisfies you... to go for more. To work, sweat, rage, cry, strive, fail and succeed. THAT... that's what I need. And I have to be okay with that. I have to accept who and what I am and be good with it. Some days I'm totally there... others I'm not. But that's all part of the ride.

I'm excited. Thanks for taking the time to read. I hope you're all happy, healthy, and whole.