It's interesting... I've taken a big break from writing... I suppose it's because I haven't felt I have anything particularly clever or insightful to say. Things are constantly swirling around in my head, (which, believe me, is annoying), but the thought of making them semi-sort-of coherent, and typing has been repulsive to me. I'm not promising anything remotely brilliant here... but it feels good to write a bit.
Training continues. I've been pretty consistent through the entire year but there's been a big shift in my thinking regarding triathlon. I'll be honest here... it's kind of a pain in the ass isn't it? I mean really. Think about it. Think about all the time you spend planning training, packing for training, scheduling training, fretting about training, resting for training, executing training, recovering from training... maybe racing... on and on and on. It's pretty consuming. I've also noticed that it's isolating for me. I enjoy time on my own... I really do... that Rob guy in my head can be pretty fun... but at least in Eugene... I've found it really difficult to meld my schedule with anyone else's. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just lazy and don't want to go to the effort of seeking people out to train with. I know there's a bunch of triathletes here in this town... but the idea of having to coordinate schedules... which means even MORE planning... makes me want to hurl. Yeah. Lazy I suppose.
Don't get me wrong... I really love this sport. LOVE it. I also think that for a 40 year old guy, I have the potential to be pretty decent at it. I just think I'm evolving a bit. Not quite as obsessive. Maybe a bit more relaxed regarding results and schedules. A lot of this is out of necessity... new life direction and adjusting to a different flow of things. Whatever it is, it's happening, and I have to roll with it. Here's what I WILL say about this shift and new life direction: I haven't felt this calm or peaceful or relaxed or happy in a veeeeeeeeeery long time... even before I started triathlon 4 years ago. Like everyone, I have moments of sadness, despair, anxiety, and anger... but they're short-lived. I've always talked about "breathing"... something I adopted as my own from a dear college friend... but I finally, FINALLY feel like I actually am! I'm actually breathing. Whew.
Despite Coach Liz's best effort, I don't feel particularly ready for either of my upcoming races, Vineman 70.3, or Lake Stevens 70.3. That's b/c of me... not her. I can't imagine doing this triathlon thing without Liz's expertise. I don't feel race ready... but that's just the way it is. This is a big ego check for me... which is always good. Basically... I've had to throw all my expectations, based off of past performance, completely out the window. I'm just not as fit as I've been in the past. So... the goal for both of these races is to have fun. People do that all the time right? Have fun? Race for fun? Enjoy being out there among these happy fit people? Yep. Happens all the time... and I'm joinin in!
More soon... and in the meantime... thank you for reading. Hope you're all happy, healthy, and whole.