The family I grew up in, particularly, has always had a problem with expectations... or maybe its every family... who knows. Anywho... when I was a kid, we would continually let ourselves down b/c we would have certain expectations about the way things "should be"... or the way someone "should" react or the way someone "should" understand our point of view because its so flippin clear in our heads! As a result, we spent a lot of time being sooooo disappointed and sad that our expectations were never met. Sick right? I can remember as a kid... I was probably 7? 8 ish? My parents had planned a trip to Hawaii for the family. Believe it or not... I had a pretty vivid imagination as a kid... yeah... I know... weird. I didn't know anything about Hawaii but I assumed it was a beautiful, wild, relatively uninhabited paradise. Key word here is "wild". I literally thought we would spear fish, eat coconut, and wear grass skirts.... maybe kill a wild pig for funsies. That was my expectation... which was developed simply out of my imagination right? I mean... I didn't open the Encyclopedia Britanica (that's a book... with pages that you turn... and words) and get a real picture of what it might be like.... I just made some assumptions and RAN with it! AWESOME right? So on the flight over, the pilot comes over the intercom and announces that on our right we'll just be passing over the big island. I politely, (I was such a good boy), asked the passengers next to me if I could lean over and get a peek... here's what happened in my head:
"Buildings? WHAT? There's got to be a mistake! That's not the way Hawaii is supposed to be! I don't even want to go now. This is stupid. Stupid buildings and cars and people and McDonalds. Stupiddummydumbdumbpoopcrudgoodfornothingnofun Hawaii. Sssssstyewwwwwpid."
I literally welled up I was so disappointed. Okay... we all know it doesn't take much to make me cry.... I'm kind of a pansy.... but you get my point. I was totally shattered! Instead of looking out the window of the plane and being THRILLED at the possibilities of what adventures lay ahead... I was completely let down. Now... don't worry... little Robby had a great time in Hawaii. Although I think it's telling that the above scenario is my most vivid memory of that trip, (read... Rob is a complete nut-job).
What's my POINT! I am having a HARD time letting go of my expectations for this race coming up next week! Even having all the facts in front of me... I keep setting pacing goals and split times. I thought, maybe if I wrote about this, it'd sink in. SO! Here are my expectations for Vineman 70.3:
- Show up.
- Toe the line.
- Smile some more
That's it. That's all. Uh. That's it? That's all? Yes. That's my story and I'm stickin to it. Period.
Thanks for taking the time to read... and helping me process this stuff. Hope you're all happy, healthy, and whole.