I Found It.

There's been something missing in my training. What I've noticed is that I've spent a lot of time coming to terms with the difficultly of what I'm doing.  I mean, it's Ironman right?  Honestly, I've never had much trouble with physical challenges. That's just the way its been all my life.  Or perhaps its that I've chosen sports that I've known I could be successful at?  I don't know. Regardless... I've never doubted myself physically my entire life.  What's happened over the course of the last 6 months or longer, is that my confidence has been shattered in other aspects of my life... and, as a result, it has bled into the one area that I've NEVER been uncomfortable with... sport.  This occurred to me on the trainer just yesterday.  I'm pedaling along and it occurs to me... "Wait.  I love this.  I LOVE this.  Oh. My. GOD!  That's RIGHT... I forgot that I LOVE this... AND... I'm good at it."  Yeah.  Just like that.  My smile came back.  I used to constantly smile and giggle while training.  Even through those tough spots where I was bawling like a freakin baby... I had a smile on my face because I LOVE this sport.  I LOVE these challenges.  I love that pain and the walls that we hit.  I.  LOVE.  It.  I am blessed and free and whole and happy and appreciative when I'm training and racing... and you know what?  That is just SPLENDID!

Thanks for reading.  I hope you're all happy, healthy, and whole.  I'll be in Florida at the end of the month.  If anyone wants to grab a burger while I'm there... I'd LOVE the company!

Breathe...