in case you're wondering... see the guy in the picture? The guy that's getting hit in the head with the bat? THAT is exactly how I've been feeling... like that guy. It goes without saying that all of the important testing that was to be done didn't happen. Nor has there been ANY semblance of training done since... wait for it... WEDNESDAY BEFORE LAST! Seriously. Some might argue that this illness was brought on by a two day visit from my boss. Where I had to wear a suit. And a smile. And synergize optimal baseline customer demographics while executing flawlessly. I'm not sure about all that... but I do know that both Lila and I got nailed by this little bug! Lila got it SO bad that I had to take her to the doctor and witness my poor little darling get 2 HUGE shots of antibiotics in both legs followed by a 10 day course of oral antibiotics! Just as Lila missed an entire week of school... I missed a week and a half of training. Now THAT is sick! In the past I've made the mistake of training when not completely healthy... only to pay for it in the long run. With all the additional "life stress"... I, along with Coach Liz decided to stay on my butt, rest, eat, and get healthy. Here it is, Sunday, and I finally feel like I can get some training in this week! SO... I'm back on track starting tomorrow.
Spring is officially here! It's so nice to get a break from the rain here in Eugene... however temporary... and enjoy a little sun. Having this time off over the last week and a half has given me a bit of time to reflect on training and racing. It has made me take a hard look at this season
and what my expectations are... or rather should be. From the beginning, in this sport, I've sought to go hard and compete at a high level. I've had a degree of success... but I wonder at the cost. While training and racing has enriched my life to a degree that I never expected... I wonder what I've sacrificed during the process. Has focusing on training and racing taken away from other aspects of my life... my family... my friends... my work? This sport can be a selfish sonofabitch. But then again, I suppose anything that you're truly passionate about can be. Where is that line? There isn't an answer. Or maybe there is. At the end of the day, when you're lying bed and reflecting... checking each box... you're never, EVER, going to get 100% of it right if you're truly honest with yourself. You'll always fall short of your own... or someone else's, expectations in one or more areas. Is this a failure? Not necessarily... but it is human. Oftentimes the absolute best you can do is to be aware of your shortcomings and... simply try again the next day. Just keep coming back. I guess that's where I've landed. There are times when I will fail miserably... and there are times, little moments, where the successes I have will be measured not necessarily by accomplishment... but by the peace that washes over me when I know , without hesitation, that I tried to the best of my ability.
Thanks for taking the time to read. Hope you're all happy, healthy, and whole.
Breathe...
