Here's the thing...

about football: The game itself, to a 6 year old boy, (at least MY 6 year old boy), is only as good as the soft pretzel, the "Sierra Mist", the donut, the Coke, the frozen lemonade, unshelled peanuts, AND the comfy stadium chair!

Let's just say that Tom had an outstanding time at the Oregon vs. Cal game last Saturday. I had a great time to... not because the Ducks stomped the CRAP outta Cal... but b/c I got to spend a little time with my little man... just us guys... doing supposed "guy things". Which is funny... b/c I'm MORE than willing to bet that the majority of women out there know more about football and stats and players than myself... which makes me wonder... is watching football REALLY a guy thing? Which brings me to yet ANOTHER question: Why the HELL go if you could truly give a crappolio about the sport!

Let's face it... despite what the picture in my last post might show... I'm a skinny bastard. Yeah... I know... GASP! But its TRUE! I've always been skinny! SHOCKING! I can remember being in middle school and looking in the full-length mirror and noticing that my "quads" were about as large and buff as my "biceps". I said to myself, "That ain't right." (Yes... I used "ain't" and was living in Oklahoma at the time), but there was literally nothing I could do about it. My point... this little skinny guy didn't pursue a career in football... and as a result... felt it a complete waste of time and energy watching something that held ZERO meaning to him. Therefore... I grew up knowing very little about the sport... nor caring about it. Don't get me wrong... if there was EVER a pick-up game in the neighborhood or even a game of "Smear the Queer", (how crude), I was right there slugging it out with the large-boned kids like Bigun and Ryan. As a matter of fact... I kinda liked throwing my wafer thin frame at those guys... ultimately injuring them with my bony

elbows! But WATCH a football game while sitting on the couch? On TV? Psssssh... hellz no! This has carried over into my adult life and really... the only football I'll watch is Duck football... and only from Autzen stadium. As a result... at corporate meetings for instance... I'm the handy-tard that stands there with the guys nodding his head, smiling, and pretending he understands what the hell the football-obsessed masses are talking about. I usually supplement the nodding and smiling with comments like, "Yeah." and, "Totally", and "Psshh! No kidding.". I don't really think it works... but it makes me feel better.

The truth is... football is all about the person sitting right next to me. So I'll continue to buy season tickets just like I have for the past 8 years... and I'll cheer with the best of them... but the reality is... I'll spend more time watching Tom enjoy his treat of the moment... than watching the game... and it's worth every penny.

Breathe...